Friday, April 23, 2010

Extreme Rules 2010 Predictions

Okay so I think I got like 2 matches right for Wrestlemania...and I know you people reading probably wanna see me write about something that's NOT wrestling but right now I don't have much time to dedicate to writing reviews and this stuff is easy.

Before I start I'd like to say that I WILL come back with stuff on RVD winning the TNA title and WWE's releasing of Jimmy Wang Yang, Mike Knox, and the rest of them leading up to SHELTON BENJAMIN? Either way, expect stuff within the next few weeks.

So without further adieu, lets see if I can get more than I did last time...

ER 2010

Michelle McCool (c) vs. Beth Phoenix Extreme Makeover Match for the WWE Women's Championship
Winner: Beth Phoenix
Why: Because Beth is supposed to be this dominant woman who doesn't stoop herself to the low of the makeover stuff. These are probably the two best workers in the womens division right now, so they hopefully can actually entertain.

JTG vs. Shad Gaspard in a Strap Match
Winner: Shad Gaspard
Why: Cryme Tyme breaking up was dumb. But if they want to do this right they'll push Shad properly. JTG is a tad too gimmicky, perhaps the reason why CT never truly succeeded was because he was just too over the top. Shad has a bright future, he just needs to stop wrestling in blue jeans and Timberland boots.

Edge vs. Chris Jericho in a Steel Cage Match
Winner: Edge
Why: Jericho won at 'Mania, Edge will win now to give him the hero win. When will they turn him heel? Face Edge just doesn't work.

Triple H vs. Sheamus in a Street Fight
Winner: Sheamus
Why: Before WM, Triple H made some comments about how the guys that beat him at WM go on to become huge superstars and the guys that lose fade into oblivion. Sheamus lost. Triple H is the reason he has made it this far, so hopefully he will get off his throne and help put over this potential champion (who also sports a nice mustache).

Randy Orton vs. Jack Swagger (c) in an Extreme Rules Match for the World Heavyweight Championship
Winner: Swagger
Why: Because WWE has invested a lot in this man in such a short amount of time. It would be a true injustice to them as promoters, writers and to Orton and Swagger to have him drop the belt. And this face turn has really changed the way Orton is, he is just so confused when people cheer for him.

Rey Mysterio vs. CM Punk, if Punk loses he has to shave his head
Winner: Rey Mysterio
Why: Because CM Punk wants to shave his head. These guys could've stolen the show at WM had they been given more time. Maybe they can prove in this match that they both should never have been demoted from the Main Event.

John Cena (c) vs. Batista for the WWE Championship in a Last Man Standing Match
Winner: John Cena
Why: You know what? At this point in time I don't hate Cena. I don't hate what he stands for. I don't hate him as a performer. I don't hate him at all. It's inevitable he's going to be champion, so why not put him over the equally overrated Dave Batista.

Okay, that's the card thus far, I'll update this if any more matches are added. Also, I have a new feature coming out soon for this blog. Get ready people!

Friday, March 26, 2010

Wrestlemania XXVI Predictions

Just wanted to come on here and give my reviews for Sunday's Wrestlemania Pay Per View. Usually I try and avoid talking WWE on this blog, as TNA and Ring of Honor seem a bit more okay for a 21 year old male to watch. Granted I don't actually watch WWE regularly, but I still feel as though my opinion is valid. So here are my predictions for the biggest night of wrestling...

WM26

**Just added**

Eve Torres, Kelly Kelly, Mickie James, Gail Kim and Beth Phoenix vs. Vickie Guerrero, Maryse, Michelle McCool, Layla and Alicia Fox
Winner: Eve, Kelly, Mickie, Gail, Beth
Reason: They're collectively hotter than the other team.

Rey Mysterio vs. CM Punk
Stipulation: If Punk wins, Mysterio is forced to join the Straight Edge Society
Winner: Rey Mysterio
Reason: They would never have Rey join Punk's awesome Straight Edge Society. Punk's bad guy gimmick is so over and they need to have the good guy beat him. This may be match of the night if treated properly.

Randy Orton vs. Cody Rhodes vs. Ted DiBiase
Winner: Ted DiBiase
Reason: Orton doesn't need the victory and Cody isn't over enough. I would love it if Cody won, because I think he has more charisma and in ring ability than Ted, but putting Ted over on this stage could move him to the level he needs to be at.

Triple H vs. Sheamus
Winner: Sheamus
Reason: Triple H only puts over people he likes, and Sheamus is an Irish version of him. It'd be pointless to have Triple H win, I mean it's possible, but I think even the Game himself knows Sheamus needs to get over to seem legitimate.

ShowMiz (c) (Big Show and the Miz) vs. John Morrison and R-Truth
Stipulation: WWE Unified Tag Team Championships on the line.
Winner: ShowMiz
Reason: Morrison and R-Truth were thrown together so they don't have to be in the Money in the Bank match. ShowMiz have potential.

Bret Hart vs. Vince McMahon
Stipulation: No hold barred
Winner: Vince McMahon
Reason: I think this is what will happen; Vince screws Bret yet again and wins the match and then all of the good guys will destroy Vince and Bret will get his moment.

Christian vs. Dolph Ziggler vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Kane vs. Matt Hardy vs. Jack Swagger vs. M.V.P. vs. Drew McEntyre vs. Evan Bourne vs. Kofi Kingston
Stipulation: Money in the Bank Ladder Match
Winner: #1 Choice Christian #2 Choice Matt Hardy
Reason: Not many people in this match actually seem to have the legitimacy to gain the victory. Matt and Christian have both proven themselves as ECW Champions and I think are over enough to deserve a shot. If not either of them Kofi Kingston will win. Expect the 10 guys to make this match really spot heavy obviously, but it won't have much time to focus on each man.

Batista (c) vs. John Cena
Stipulation: WWE Championship match
Winner: Cena
Reason: This match will be mad boring. The good guy wins, Batista gets a year older.

The Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels
Stipulation: Taker's streak vs. Michael's career
Winner: HBK
Reason: They won't make him retire. Undertaker is closer to that door than Shawn.

Chris Jericho (c) vs. Edge
Stipulation: WWE Heavyweight Championship match
Winner: Jericho
Reason: Edge is hot off coming back from his injury, but Jericho has never had his "Wrestlemania moment" and this is his chance. Also, I think this feud has the potential to keep going for another few months and this is a good starting point.

That's it.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

Review: Gorillaz-Plastic Beach

Let us take a time machine back some years to 2001. I was in eighth grade and had heard about a cartoon band that played a song called “Clint Eastwood,” At the time I would listen to any rock band I was told to by my peers and the great Total Request Live, so I went on Napster and downloaded the song and liked it. I didn’t understand any of the lyrical content, but it was pretty cool. A few weeks later I went to the mall and bought the self titled album, reveling in the fact that a 13 year old managed to buy a CD with an Explicit Lyrics sticker without getting carded or thrown out of F.Y.E. (I still think that the two F bombs on that album don't warrant a sticker) I listened to “Clint” along with the other single “Rock The House” but never really appreciated the album as a whole; I mean lets look at what was in my CD collection at that juncture. I can literally tell you every CD I owned at that point and I will; I had Let it Be and Magical Mystery Tour, Sum 41’s All Killer No Filler, Weezer’s Green Album, U.K. industrial band Pitchshifter’s www.pitchshifter.com, and Cartoon Network’s Brak Presents the Brak Album Starring Brak. So of course at this point in time I had no idea what I was getting myself into. My young brain couldn’t fathom hip hop or Britpop, so I would skip to “Clint” and “Rock the House” and then eject the CD and carry on with my day. So as the years passed and I learned more about music in general, my appreciation for the Gorillaz as well as Damon Albarn’s other works grew exceedingly. Demon Days has been consistently in my driving only CD book since I’ve had my license and I was lucky enough to see Albarn alongside Paul Simonon and other famous people with The Good, The Bad and The Queen back in my freshman year of college. With all of that in mind, you can imagine the amount of joy I was in when I heard Plastic Beach was coming out...

plastic
The "Experience Edition"

The album’s “Orchestral Intro” does for this album what the grim “You are now entering the harmonic room...” did for Demon Days, it opens the door for the audience to enter into the artificially wonderful world of Plastic Beach. The next track, the aptly named “Welcome to the World of the Plastic Beach” shows just how uppity and over produced the Beach really is. Toting a prominent guest spot from Snoop Dogg, arguably one of our days most “plastic” rappers who doesn't have the price tag of a Jay-Z or Lil Wayne. To me Snoop’s appearance comes off as a bit forced, Albarn has connections to several great rappers, some of which appear later on the album, but really? Snoop Dogg? How great would it have been to start the album with a returning verse from Del Tha Funky Homosapien? Del’s voice lends itself well to the sound Albarn wants, not to mention the check would be much smaller than that of the multi-platinum Dogg. But Snoop aside, the tracks quirky synths and tweaked vocals from Albarn make for a great introduction.

“White Flag,” the next track, features a smoothly layered beat from The National Orchestra For Arab Music alongside rappers Bashy and Kano, with no lyrical contributions from Albarn himself. The synth-pop drum machine loops compliment the layers of strings and flutes incredibly well. Following “White Flag” is “Rhinestone Eyes,” which may be the best track on the album. Albarn resumes the role of lead singer while punchy drum kicks behind the catchiest synth line I’ve heard in a long time. This track truly encompasses Albarn’s desire to truly innovatively combine hip hop, pop and rock. While it doesn’t tote heavy guitars, rap, or a catchy chorus, the laid back vocals, head nodding musicals and heavy bass get the job done. The next two tracks had been leaked weeks earlier, and feel much more at home and relevant in the context of the album rather than standalone songs. Following “Rhinestone” the 80’s synthesized bass and drums of “Stylo” drone over and over. At first I found the song boring, especially considering the miniscule role Mos Def plays. However, the incredibly abstract Bobby Womack breathes life into the repetitive track. “Superfast Jellyfish” the next track, with “Feel Good Inc.” alums De La Soul reappearing, is another one of the albums highlights. The layers come in gradually and effectively, with Albarn singing a fun hook that is reminiscent of the aforementioned “Feel Good Inc.” and “Clint Eastwood” however talking about eating jellyfish is a tad awkward, even for the Gorillaz standards. “Empire Ants” is a relaxing next track, showing us another more serene side of the Beach. Even when the drums and bass kick two and a half minutes into the song, this track serves as a bit of a cool down, and a really funky one too.

gorillaz

“Glitter Freeze” starts thumping with a Muse-like bass line with jumpy keyboards and keeps on layering them over and over for the mostly instrumental track, which almost acts as a beginning to Act II of the album. “Some Kind of Nature” follows up with the lazy vocals of Lou Reed over happy instrumentals. While I’m not a fan of The Velvet Underground or Reed’s solo work, I must say that his vocals are rather underwhelming. He seems to trot along waiting for Albarn to come in and bring the hook in each chorus. When they finally start trading the vocals back and forth things get more interesting, but just as with Snoop Dogg, I feel as though the guest spot could’ve been shelled out to a more deserving, lesser-known name. The 80’s ballad-esque “On Melancholy Hill” is another fun track, although it is a bit forgettable. It’s a harmless track, but I can’t deny it’s catchy. The next song, “Broken,” is in the same vain. It’s not going to be one of the songs that goes down in the history books as one of Damon’s greatest, but it is good within the context of Plastic Beach.

The Mos Def driven “Sweepstakes” is another one of those tracks I can’t quite wrap my head around. I love the chaotic music, but I think Mos delivers some of the weakest stuff we’ve heard from him. The song pushes in at over 5 minutes, which is a bit of a feat for a rapper, and the constant repetition of the songs title is really off putting, especially at this point of the album. I don’t feel like a winner, regardless of how many times Mos Def says I am. However, following “Sweepstakes” is one of the albums greatest tracks. “Plastic Beach” features former Clash members Mick Jones and Paul Simonon along with Damon delivering cool lyrics. While the musical contributiones don’t scream “THE CLASH WAS HERE!” the thumping bass is certainly reminiscent of The Good, The Bad and The Queen. “To Binge” is another one of those sort of forgettable tracks, good but not great.

“Cloud of Unknowing” brings back Bobby Womack, who seems so genuine when singing along to the slower track that for once doesn’t kick in with drums and bass. It is a truly unique point of the album that Womack more or less gives himself. And the albums closing track “Pirate Jet” contains all the elements that made the rest of the album great, synthesizers layered above dub style bass with Albarn singing harmonies over himself. It is a good closer, it’s a great sendoff to the over produced world of Plastic Beach.

So overall, the album is good. To say it’s as good as Demon Days is an overstatement, but as an album, there is certainly some purpose to what is going on. My problems come in three places here. Number one is the fact that while the synth lines are catchy and fun, they are abused to no end on this album. I understand it’s all part of the concept, but on both prior Gorillaz albums, there is no such repeating musical theme, and that’s what makes them two classic albums! My second complaint is the abundance of guest spots from big musical names. While they don’t entirely detract from the overall product, they don’t do much to add to it. The best guest spots are from prior collaborators and lesser known acts. What I loved about the prior records was the way the Albarn took lesser known people and put them on a pedestal, giving them the most exposure some of them have ever had. Del the Funky Homosapien and MF Doom have never seen such prominent sales numbers as on their Gorillaz tracks and Damon brought De La Soul back into the limelight after they had been underground for several years. I don’t listen to Gorillaz because of the guest stars, I listen because I love Damon Albarn’s songwriting. And while it is certainly very much sound on Plastic Beach, the overflow of big names detracts from the product. And while it can be argued that the guest list is meant to compliment the plastic theme of the album, I think it’s plastic enough musically. My last complaint is that on the prior two albums, I felt as though I was in the world of 2-D, Russel, Murdoch and Noodle, but on this I feel like I am alongside Damon Albarn. I don't feel as swept into the world of these 4 characters as I once did, maybe it's because I'm older and I watched the making of DVD, or maybe it's because the characterization isn't as important as it once was.

All in all Plastic Beach is a good album, and at this point of the year, a contender for the best. But alongside Damon Albarn’s other works with Gorillaz, Blur and other side projects, this album isn’t the greatest.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

To Health!

So I'm taking this class called "Fitness For Life" and it's sort of a pointless easy 2 credits that you get by working out. I've been in the class for 2-3 weeks now and we still haven't filled out our "Fitness Prescriptions" or whatever we are doing, but bottom line is your boy DW needs to get fit.

One thing that struck me right off the bat was my professor saying "Tell people your goals because you'll feel like you have to stick to your word" and I thought of Kanye West's short book of wisdom Thank You and You're Welcome and how in that book he said people dislike him for making outrageous claims, but by making said outrageous claims he has to do all within his power to live up to them. With this in mind, I open this up to the readers of this blog.

I am going to get in shape.

I said I'd stop eating potato chips on twitter at the beginning of the semester and I haven't had them since then. But I found the loophole in Doritos (which do have 10 less calories per serving, but in the long run they are still bad) and for Lent (and hopefully onward) I have given up Doritos. So now, I realize that I want to stick to my word.

SO blog readers, your job is to merely read this. Since I have said it I will now do all in my power to get healthy, and that doesn't mean give up junk food completely, just make it a reward rather than a crutch!

FAT
Well at least I have a cool mustache.

THANK YOU FRIENDS AND LETS HOPE I CAN DO THIS!

Friday, January 29, 2010

More TNA Talk

Okay, I figured there's nothing wrong with these brief rants about things. That's what blogging is about right?

I have one HUGE problem with the new direction TNA has. I don't mind the square ring, I don't mind the fact that the ramp goes right into the ring, whatever that's all fine. My problem with TNA is the fact that they try to put Hogan and Bischoff over as a team, but Hogan is so clearly trying to be a top face and Bischoff is trying to act like a heel. To me it's pretty clear that Hogan should go heel in TNA. He is the reason all of these people no one wants to see are in TNA, why not run with that? He tried to "out-face" the founder Jeff Jarrett on January 4th and failed miserably, maybe he should've thought to himself, "I will sell t-shirts regardless, maybe I could go heel and put all of these originals over!" But no, Hogan continually tries to make it like he's the good guy...

We'll see how this plays out as the weeks go by. I don't like Sean Morely around, nor do I like Orlando Jordan. The Nasty Boys are fat, old pieces of trash, but I do want to see Team 3D beat them, so I'll let them stay. Rumors are Jeff Hardy isn't even sticking around, I'd like Shannon Moore to though. Hardy doesn't have huge drawing power it seems, I feel like the WWE had the resources to really put him over, and TNA has this laundry list of main eventers and they think they can just let Jeff hang on the under card. I think he is a valuable asset, but I also think that he doesn't have what it takes to actually perform to the level of Kurt Angle, Ken Anderson, A.J. Styles, Chris Daniels, Samoa Joe perform at. But if TNA can hook him in, promote the holy hell out of his presence, and keep the heavyweight title off of him I think they should do that.

Oh, and I think that Brian Kendrick and Generation Me (a.k.a. ROH's Young Bucks) are doing great. Look at Kendrick in this clip...



Kendrick has this distinct character yet he still brings a certain ruthlessness to the ring that I really like. He's like 150 pounds and he still manages to come off as somewhat of a threat. It's awesome.

More Kendrick, less Bischoff please.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

See You Later, Coco!

Hello community! Hope you've all had a lovely few days since my last post.

I just wanted to get on here and post my thoughts on the whole Leno/Conan situation. Call me cliche at this juncture, but as a male of Irish descent looking to get into the television industry, you can more or less guess what the following few paragraphs will be.

I remember as far back as high school, probably earlier, when NBC aired Late Night the next evening (I think it was on at 5 PM?) on Comedy Central I would watch Conan O'Brien. Little did I know how involved he was in some of my favorite Simpsons episodes, but all of that aside I began to more or less idolize this fellow after a few episodes.

In second grade I was asked to write down what my dream job would be. I wrote down almost instinctively that I wanted to be a stand up comedian, wrote the entire page paper or however long it was and then realized that no second grade in their right mind should've written something of that nature. My rationale was that I enjoyed making people laugh and I'd love to make a career out of it. It wasn't until I started watching those Conan episodes that I really was finally able to admit that while I was young, that I was correct in my personal assumption. And to this day making people laugh is probably the most fun I can have on my own. It's a bit of a crutch, especially when I'm around people that are hard to please, but I cope.

But me aside, I think Jay Leno acted like a son of a bitch. I watched a video recently from back when he announced his "departure" where he said that he didn't want to be a 60 year old hosting The Tonight Show, and now he's coming back...to me that is absolutely unfair. Conan moved his staff, his family, and his entire life to Los Angeles for what was rightfully his, The Tonight Show and after a rough 7 months the network pulled the plug. Let's not forget how long it took Conan to get over as the host of Late Night...

And now Conan is gone from NBC, a company he thanked tonight, and I can't help but feel like the company I will soon be interning for, a company that I admitted to dreaming about working for my entire life, is really letting one of the funniest people alive leave because a 60 year old man can conjure better ratings (and this is only the short term, can Leno really be expected to last another 10-15 years?)?

I don't know...I can patiently wait until September for Conan to get a new gig together I suppose. I can just not turn on the TV until Fallon starts (I do watch Fallon, don't hate) or I can get in shape by vomiting my insides out watching Jay Leno slide back onto a show he clearly doesn't belong in.

You know what, I do need to get in shape. Leno, thank you for disgusting me!

And I know this is probably riddled with grammar errors, I just wanted to get a few things off of my chest before this subject becomes irrelevant, which by my count should be in about 25 minutes.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

WTF TNA?

I keep starting to write TNA critiques and then Impact comes on and something drastically different happens that makes me have to go back and re-write and so on and so fourth so basically I'm not getting anything done.

But let me just give a few thoughts on TNA's recent actions.

-Getting the 4 sided ring back is dumb. I understand it may be considered more legitimate, but one of the things that made TNA instantly recognizable was the 6 sided ring. The "Six Sides of Steel" made a cage match sound a whole lot more flashy than it actually is.
-Adding The Nasty Boys, Sean "Val Venis" Morely, Orlando Jordan, and The Band (X-Pac, Scott Hall) to the roster only means that TNA has more checks to cash and none of these men will do anything to draw ratings.
-The new Hulk Hogan shirt (http://shoptna.com/hulk-hogan---change.aspx) is awesome.
-Brian Kendrick and Ken "Mr. Kennedy" Anderson are two of the best free agents for TNA to get. The only problem is that putting Kendrick in the X division truly takes him away from being that one little guy with big enough balls to make it in the heavyweight division. Kennedy is just great. Makes me wish Umaga hadn't passed away. He would've been a great addition.
-It's good to see that TNA is pulling some of the "main eventers" who don't deserve their spot down. Bobby Lashley, Samoa Joe, Kevin Nash, Hernandez and Fairfield CT's own Matt Morgan all have their special talents to offer, but the main event is too cluttered as it is, so they will all have their time.
-TNA needs a hardcore division. Stevie Richards, Raven, Rhino, Team 3D, Abyss, and Mick Foley aren't really good enough to get over on their wrestling abilities alone, so making a hardcore title would really stick it to WWE's TVPG rating. Also with a hardcore division they could justify hiring Necro Butcher.
-D'Angelo Dinero annd Desmond Wolfe are two fantastic superstars who work so well with each other. I can see both of them getting their due in the main event within the year.
-It's ridiculous for Hogan to think he can "out-face" anyone in TNA. While Hogan is a name, TNA fans, especially those in attendance at the Impact Zone are very loyal to their originals (A.J. Styles, Christopher Daniels, Samoa Joe, Jeff Jarrett etc. etc.) and Hogan simply saying things like "That doesn't cut it!" won't make the fans turn on them. For a man with so much experience in the game it's dumb for him to make these assumptions, especially when he's the man who let in so many aging wrestlers who have nothing to contribute.
-And finally, I wish Eric Bischoff and Dixie Carter would stay off screen. Bischoff is a great booker and writer, let him do that. Dixie...well Dixie is just a waste of time on TV. She used to talk about how she wasn't going to become like Vince McMahon, taking TV time away from wrestlers, but now she seems to be hopping in the spotlight every once and again and it's annoying.

Okay, that's it. I figure that's better than writing something long and drawn out and then finding it irrelevant. More posts soon. Just got the new Vampire Weekend, going to bump it a few more times and then maybe review it!