The Top 5 Awesomely Terrible Songs

Now we all have those songs on our iPod’s that are meant to be funny, whether they be inside jokes that form from association, like that time we almost got Bill laid by putting on “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” by Wham, or whether they’re actually funny songs like all of Weird Al’s famed discography. There is sarcasm there.

But in the day of Tenacious D and Flight of the Conchords, the art of making funny music seems to be mainly built on delivering offbeat punchlines over sweet instrumentals (I mean, Kyle Gass is a beast at guitar). But there is that market out there…those people that take themselves a bit too seriously, or perhaps go in the opposite direction and go completely off the deep end in an effort to gain notoriety, and with that I present to you…the top five songs that may be funny, but are also awesome.

5. The Rock ft. Slick Rick-Pie



It’s funny to think that a decade ago the Rock wasn’t a Hollywood star, but it always is a little fun to reminisce about the olden days of Rocky’s wrestling career. Whether it be his notable feuds, or his trademark promos, The Rock seemed to be the hands down king of pro wrestling. But the comedy-rap track off of WWF The Music: Volume 5 in 2001 “Pie” was met with harsh criticism, saying it wasn’t funny and it took away from Rocky’s credibility. Amazon.com user Jay Hunter deemed the song, “A rather poor attempt at the Rock at lyrical humour.” But…it’s one of those songs you just have to listen to, and in it’s poorness, it is genius. The Rock knows how absolutely corny the song is, but he runs with it and makes it an ingenious track that makes you want to show your friends, and has you humming along with gospel singers and spitting The Rock’s poorly delivered raps. Dats good pie!

4. Riskay-Smell Yo Dick



The title of the song makes you laugh, as does the hook “Why you comin’ home / 5 in tha morn / Somethings going on can I smell yo dick?” But this track is awesome because there is sincerity in it. Riskay actually wants to boil down to the problem she’s having and find out if her man is cheating or not, and what’s the easiest way? Smelling his dick when he comes home at 5 AM from a night of doing who knows what! And the verses are great, the third verse, done by rapper Real, is a highlight, denying his girl the right to smell his dick. If it weren’t for the chorus, this marvelous track would fumble, but Riskay hit the gold mine.

3. Leonard Nimoy- The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins



This cult hymn based on The Hobbit was and written by composer Charles Randolf Grean. The subject matter is laughable, and considering it’s Spock singing, the track loses all credibility and just becomes a hokey gimmick for Sci-Fi nerds. But what makes the “Ballad” great is the backing band, the music itself is incredibly catchy and they seemed to know just how to wrap the music around the stupidity of the lyrics. And the bassoon solo towards the end is just classic. Leonard really should be a mainstay in music, but I guess Shatner was too hard of a competitor.

2. Chuggo-Ah C’Mon



Canadian based rapper Chuggo is one of the ugliest and most annoying people I’ve ever seen. He’s short, he’s weird looking, and he carries a big skull staff wherever he goes. That enough gives him this spot on the list. However, on the track “Ah C’Mon” Chuggo really exceeds all of the weirdness contributed to him by his image alone. He raps like he has a disorder of sorts, and he fumbles lines in order to fit them into the beat. The first verse is classic in regard to his relentless confidence in the terrible, terrible rhymes, the blink-drink-stink-ink rhyme scheme is classic. And the video is a perfect sidekick to the music, placing Chuggo in front of green screens, throwing trashy women on top of him, and having his friends pretend like they’re driving a car when they clearly aren’t. But the beat is infectious, the simple piano line is extremely entertaining, and the rousing chorus will have you singing along before the song is even over. At the end of the video we see a Hollywood-esque sign in the hills that reads “Chuggo Would” and when you listen to this song, it all makes sense.

1. Kevin Federline- PopoZão



Most well known for his marriage to the talent-less Britney Spears, Kevin Federline went from being hated by the world, to being sympathized for, because after all, who wants to be the one guy to say he is the father of the bald umbrella wielding woman’s children? But who can forget K-Fed’s attempt at music, before he released his album Playing With Fire, he put the track “PopoZão” on the internet in hopes of gaining some buzz. But when critics bashed it’s corny themes and even cornier lyrics, Federline pulled it from the album. But let’s take a step back. What makes a pop track in this day and age? A good beat, PopoZão has this. A dance? Watch the video, Kevin gives this a dance. A catchy hook? The first time I heard it I couldn’t stop singing “Po-po-po-po PopoZão! PopoZão!” and what else, oh a talentless leech rapping? Federline fits the bill. This track is glorious, and the video of Federline in the studio is priceless, I mean, how many people can honestly sit in the studio, play their track and dance along like him? He just wants to see some po-po-zao.