I do that kind of stuff on a daily basis.
TNA has always had a few women on their roster, I mean before I even watched I’d heard about Trinity moonsaulting off the cage, a maneuver that garnered Kurt Angle much acclaim, and when a male gets as much attention as he did for doing that, it must be awesome for a woman to do it. A few years later TNA acquired ex-WWE Womens Champion Gail Kim, who had been cut from the WWE because she wasn’t their blueprint of a female wrestler, A.K.A. she wasn’t blonde with big boobs. She was a real wrestler and that was something WWE hasn’t been really into for the past several years. To non-fans that must not make sense, how could WWE not want “wrestlers”? Simple, middle school boys get off to scantily clad women on TV, so if WWE can hire a bunch of bikini models who can throw a fake punch and get the boys to keep their TV on, they’ll do that rather then hire people that spent years of time and thousands of dollars on formal ring training. So, back on track, TNA signed Gail Kim. And at this point Trinity is gone from the company, so all of their women are valets. How could they showcase Gail Kim with 2 other female wrestlers on the roster, neither of whom could wrestle well at all? They decided to bring in a handful of legitimate female wrestlers in for Gail to “compete” against more or less. They branded the new division the “Knockouts” and ran promos where the women claimed “They weren’t divas,” as WWE calls their female wrestlers.
The Beautiful People: They could do just about anything on camera and I wouldn't boo them.
So for a little while everything was cool. Gail won the Knockouts Championship, we had the debut of ODB (One Dirty Bitch), as well as the development of Velvelt Sky and Angelina Love a.k.a. the Beautiful People, a tag team of women aimed to parody WWE’s Divas in one form or another. They’re hot blondes who complain that the rest of the roster aren’t nearly as good looking as they are, and for a while it worked. They were over as heels, but they were also kept guys interested in their matches because they were indeed…Beautiful People. Brilliant business move if you ask me. Also signed were a slew of other female wrestlers, some to manage or valet like Roxxi Laveux, who later dropped the Laveux to become the Hardcore Knockout, and they had stock valets Traci Brooks and ex-WWE red head Christy Hemme. And then there was one woman…one woman who basically revolutionized and monopolized the Knockout Division, a woman named Awesome Kong.
She used to beat me up after school when I was a kid.
Kong is huge. And she can move too. Unlike large male wrestlers, who are often very slow and sluggish in their moves, Kong could work the ring like a champ. And soon enough she had the Knockouts Title. Thus started a long feud with Kim that basically traded the belt between Kong and Kim, throwing in other women like ODB and Kong’s manager Raisha Saeed to valiantly attempt to keep the feud fresh. After far too long they ended the feud and Gail Kim walked away from TNA quietly to go back to WWE. So without Gail Kim, who was athletic enough to take down Kong?
The writers began a very poorly put together challenge, in which Kong would have an open challenge to the audience, and a clearly placed female wrestler would emerge and lose. This went on for far too long when along came Taylor Wilde, a prototype blonde bombshell, who could actually wrestle. She got the upset and they put the belt on her. Cool! They took a chance with a brand new wrestler, finally the belt was off of Kong and they could finally start showing off the division! Right?! Wrong. Weeks later Kong won back the belt and she has kept it since.
So enough history, I’m here to critique TNA, not chronicle their life as a company. The current state of the Knockout division is in shambles. It goes like this, Kong is the champ and people are trying to challenge her but they end up getting dominated because she is the size of many of TNA’s male wrestlers, bigger even than some. Now to say Kong is not deserving is a lie, she has paid her dues overseas and during her time in TNA, but she is to the Knockout division what John Cena is to the WWE, a face (not like a good guy, but literally, a face). She makes non fans go “That woman that could kill me wrestles for TNA? Let’s tune in!” And I suppose I should commend TNA for doing that, however, the ratings haven’t risen at all, and if anything, Gail Kim was a better face to use, as they would snub WWE in showing off how good of a wrestler she was. But still, Kong is also like Cena in a sense that people tune in to see who she’s going to beat this week. Will it be ODB again? Or will her former stablemate Rhaka Khan (good name, right?) go for it and fail?
This formula is tiring. It bores me writing about it. It bores me watching it. It bores me knowing that there are a staff of writers who have kept this going for the better part of a year. The roster of women is great, and I’m sure they could play up the “Girl Power!” angle if the title wasn’t on the most masculine of the group. An easy out would be have someone interfere and cause Kong to lose the belt, starting a feud for Kong and easily moving the title off of her. So lets use Rhaka Khan again as an example, lets say Kong is in a title match with new recruit Daffney (who spent several months impersonating Sarah Palin, and has now thankfully dropped that gimmick) and she is more or less doing her thing and smashing Daffney around and no selling clotheslines and kicks. Khan comes in blindsiding the referee, and taking him out before he can realize what has happened. She takes a chair to Kong’s back and basically obliterates her in the ring. The ref wakes up and Daffney hops onto her broken body for the three count, winning the title. Hooray! Kong isn’t champion anymore, Daffney is in the limelight, and Khan is lined up to keep Kong busy for at least a month, and knowing TNA’s booking, more like 6 months.
I proposed to her, but she said she had commitment issues.
Okay, an easy out to move the title. But what about the rest of the division? How do they hold our time for another segment or two without really boring us? Easy. Book wrestling matches. The roster is too talented not to utilize in some fashion, and they all more or less look hot in one way or another. Book non-feud matches with Taylor Wilde, Roxxi, Sojo Bolt, and let the rest of the ladies act as managers and valets to tag teams and singles wrestlers, and have The Beautiful People attack anyone, male or female, for not living up to the standards presented by WWE eh-hem, themselves.
Not a hard fix at all. The Knockout Division has potential to really show WWE and other indy competitors that they are willing to take a risk as far as ratings as well as financially, to show off great competition between females. And what is a natural things between several companies all trying to be at the top? Competition! So in turn, WWE may just step up their women’s roster, I mean they re-hired Gail Kim, so that’s gotta mean something. So TNA, if you fix your mess not only can you mend your own wounds, but you can help fix up the rest of the industry.
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